Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire Part 3

Hello Beloved,

Well, I have just today finished the book. WOW!!! I really wish everyone could read this book..
I feel like I have been on a great journey. What a GREAT trip! I have several things I would like to say to you and they may all seem abit like rambling but please bear with me.

We had a mini conference at our church this weekend, and I want to tell you that it was NOT
a accident that I choose this book to read a couple of weeks ago. I have been on a spiritual journey of which I wouldn't trade for anything.. didn't understand it till now.. ( started several years ago and I just wasn't paying attention to well ) , but you see that is how God works... on a need to know base ( or at least an understanding base) . This Pastor Cooper was sent to talk to me.( have you ever felt that way about a sermon?) I had gone in and spoke with a girl from our church that morning and she said something( maybe I heard if from one of you or read it somewhere , but I just got it today!) that like an onion which has layers so do we have layers of
things which need to be gone through.. and that to me was like wow! so in evening service that is what happened to me while Pastor Cooper spoke... layers of grief, anger, hurts, ect.... started going away and it HURT! but it was a good hurt... I wish I could describe in words to make sense but I can't do that so onward and forward we go.

This morning while I was in the shower ( doesn't God speak to us in the strangest places.)
I got to thinking on different things and low and behold God shows me somethings.

When I was a little girl I thought of myself as the ugly duckling. I had and still do have ( thank
God) three of the most beautiful and wonderful sisters any one person could ever have, and two
great brothers. Whew, all the things that my brothers and sisters could and still can do, and
then there was me. I was always whining and in the way... Please bear with me now,
this is NOT a sad sack story, but just a beginning...
I felt like I was the luckiest kid on the block, I truly did believe that .. ( It was not just my Pollyanna complex either.) I was loved by each one of them and spoiled rotten! But see I didn't see anything special in me.. not like them. I was ( to me) just in the way and friendless and ugly.
( the one all the kids wanted to beat up on) Why do we do that to ourselves? Now , back to the shower.
I was thinking about all these things and it came to me that just a few days ago while I was in
prayer, that something came into my spirit about love.. From the earliest memory I have it is about love..
Daddy loved me, my sisters loved me, my brothers loved me. I just thought about the things
in my life and how they were always there and I found it to be amazing , they all loved me.
The only person who did not love me was me.. In prayer it came back to me , just like a movie
picture . Me as a little child going about the neighborhood doing what I could for all the old folks and helping my little friends stay out of trouble , taking care of the little animals , and just going around loving anyway I could.... That is when it hit me..... That is my gift.... LOVE.... God chose me to love whoever, whenever, wherever, I am... But that it was time for me to start loving
myself... Now I am here to tell you that is NOT an easy thing for me to do.... but I am learning..
Now back to the conference.
While I was at the alter this is what God was doing for me, peeling away layers of my life where
I thought I was not good enough for anyone.. I was just peeling away layers of what I believed other people thought...
You may be asking what has that to do with the book you read.... Well , I will tell you..
This book is about prayer. One of my sisters sent me something about a month ago and it went something like this.....If you have a need in your life, pray about it, make it a real effort and really think about it ... don't be surprise if something happens now , ok?
This is what I wrote down from that email.

STARTING TODAY AND FOR THE NEXT 29 DAYS I WILL PRAY FOR__________.

and when you pray, pray like you really mean it..
I did this starting on October 1 and for 29 days I prayed and then it came to pass at the conference..... God is so good. We need to listen to the Spirit of God speak... I'm learning.
So see this book has been an important work for me.. I needed this book and the conference
to help me grow...
In the final pages of this good book is something I had never thought about..
alter call---- mini prayer meeting... so I hope that each of us will remember to have a alter
call each and everyday.. God loves you so much... I love you too.
May God Bless the day you are in with all that you need today... Smile , when you do you are dressed the most beautiful you can be...
your friend in Christ Jesus. billiemae

This is from an email sent out to family and friends in November 2009